Prison Diary

the first day: My family dropped me off , the GPS address brought us the the back entrance of the prison as I drove up my children and wife started crying when they saw the razor wire, the fence 20' high had an iner fence and an outer fence the outer fence had 2 spools of razor wire on the ground and 3 spools of razor wire at the top. it was shimmering in the sunlight of the early morning we were told to get to the prison at 7:30 I was self surrendering . as we pulled up I got out of the car and a man came from a garage door in a big warehouse looking building on the side of the prison,( this was the power plant and welding shop that I would eventually work in and I myself would come and redirect families later-as only guards drove up and parked where we were any family that showed up or civilian you knew was lost,as the address of the prison is not really posted anywhere and the Websites and information online is usually wrong or out of date it is not helpful either. he told us to go down the road and make a left . we got back in the car went back down the road and made a left- and pulled into what looked like a grade school as I got out of the car - al large female guard ( the guys called her the wookie ? she was actually very nice but had a swear mouth , and knew that most of the things the guys tried to get away with didn't matter, stealing food etc so she would let us get away with it ) she came out and started yelling as she walked "not fuckin here, stop your crying and get back in the car not fuckin here" she sent us back down the road to the Admin entrance . we pulled up and my family started crying again I said goodbye , got my glasses ,contact list and books as I was told I could bring, and kisses everyone goodbye and walked to the entrance . they would later tell me they stayed there crying to see if it was the right address and eventually left, in silence . I walked in side and told the guard at the desk I was a self surrender , he called down and told me I was early and there probably wasn't anyone in yet.- so sit down and wait .

 The other side : I was called in a Guard came over and told me to put my stuff in the scanner and go thru the metal detector, we walked and I walked in front of him , imates always walk in front of the guards we went down stair to a U-shaped desk he took , asked me a few questions about who I was they asked you questions about your case trying to trick you do you know so and so, where did you least work ,who is the person, I guess people pay other people to do their time so they want make sure that you are who you say you are.  every few minutes the guard would walk away and bull shit with the other guards and tell me to stand there, I would learn that this is common something the might take 15 minutes to do would be dragged out, at the inconvenience of the inmate, if you said something , you might get handcuffed and put in a room or simply wait there all day, I saw a nurse who gave me a TB test she was very nice , I was brought into a room and told to take off all my clothes for some reason thie didn't bother me to walk around with no clothes on in front of guards , they were doing their job and didn't like it either but had to do it, I was given brown clothes which were the color of the prison uniform ,they didn't fit they were too big , I had silp on shoes ,I was directed into a holding cell , it was all fucked up the toilet was bent the paint was all dug up with was a cement bench and cold, I would learn that heat and cold is a way of controlling us , they would keep it really cold or unbearably hot, nothing was going thru my head when this was happening , I was just there, I bald headed man with a lip and very comic came in I was put in a room with a desk and asked to fill out a form it asked you questions if you were suicidal were you on drugs , did you have a drinking problem , he told you to say no to all the questions and teased me about my case, telling me how smart did I think I was now, and of course Im under stress Im being sent to Prison, ( would later learn that this man was very dangerous that he was the Prison Psychologist and could have you put behind the fence the other real doctors made fun of him because he was a hack we called him the hamburglar as he showed up on hamburger Wednesday to harass us ,in camp), I was eventually hand cuffed with my hands behind my back and walked into the Prison , we walked in the sun down between the busilding, past the indian sweat lodge to the SHU door a small door in the side of a buidling with no windows, I was handed off to the SHU Guards who are trained to be mean and abusive , they dont really answer you of say anything , I was put in a holding cell and orange clothes were thrown on the floor, I was told to turn around and back into the door ( all the doors have a little door just above waist high , to get food clothes or get your hand cuffs off) you back into the door and they take your handcuffs off, then you take all you clothes off the brown clothes they just gave me and after you naked you turn around and then after you kick your clothes over to a corner you can put on your other clothes, I put on the orange clothes and was told to back into the door ( oh I forgot when I was brought in they put all my belongngs into a box to send home they took my books and put them in there and tried to take my second pair of glasses and put them in there too, but I said Iwas alwod 2 pair of glasses, when I was in the SHU they took my second pair of glasses and my contect list , and thru them away /is what they told me,they just put them with my brown clothes)  I was walked to a second floor cell and the guard asked me if I could read and I said yes he gave me a book he just grabed one, it was a nystery about the love cannal trial , he put in my cell becasue I was still under my TB test and becasue my securty Level was 1 out of a possbile 30 I couldnt be with any other prisoner the cell was narrow and cold these cells are kept very cold, the prsioner before me hand taken toliet paper and out it in the the poliet made it into a big paper mache wad and thrown it up at the grill blocking most of the cold air from coming in,there was no time here no sense of the day passing , I was wondering if this is were I was to stay for a year in a half nothing was exsplained to you, after a while I was wondering about Jasper the man who had sent me here and wondering if this was his intention or if it was somehting he even thought of, after a while a guard came by and opened the little door and yelled, he had a tray of food , I took it the food was all kind grey every item was the same odd color, but it tasted good, there were other imates in other cells you could hear them but the cells are set up so you can see anyhitng , they would yell and sceam all the time day and night kick the door so the building shook , the hamburgerler came in and would give them a setitive and I would have some peace for a few hours, but then they would wake up and kick the door and scream again , I would learn later that guys would be in the SHU for 6 months or so , you could really get punished any more than that so they would break everything be a pain in the ass. after a while the love canal book started to look very good, I read it it was very technical and alot about court proceeding ,but after a day I got into it, I went to the top bunk even thought it was very hard to get up there ,I was slow getting down when the guard came and yelled so he took my lunch away , so the next time I heard him come I stayed down in the lower bunk, As I looked up I saw that someone had scratched into the bunk "dont believe the guards they iie about everything"  when the guard came by with dinner he told me there was no room in camp so I would be in the SHU for a few weeks to get comfortable .I remembered what I had read and was comforted by the information not to believe them . the lights were really bright so when I thought it was night time I got up and pushed what I thought was the light switch, the guards came running in with batons , and asked me what was wrong I said I was trying to turn the light off , by pushing the button, they yelled at them that was the murder button and if an inmate was killing me I would push that button , dont ever push that button, now we have to do paper work.... to punish me for doing this they left the light on all the time except when I was eating then they would turn it off. After a few days I had almost finished the book when a guard came by and told me to get my shit together and dont be late when I come back I was moving, I rushed and got my blanket and glasses book together ,I backed into the door and she a mean little guard I would come to fear later, she was known as the chicken hawk  , she pulled on my arms and strained them, pushing me , I was put back in the holding cell they took my book and thru it back in the pile I would never find out how it ended.  A guard came from the A&D admission and distribution and walked me back down as soon as we were out of the SHU door he took my cuffs off he said he wasnt really supposed to do that but I was going to camp so he did see any point in keep ing hand cuffed  . we walked back thru the doors into the area I came into the took my brown clothes away and gave me green clothes  they told me that the camp has alot of freedoms and alot of rules , dont fuck it up , its easy to fuck it up and get sent in behind the fence , while I was in camp 75-80 guys out of the 130 total would be sent out of camp to the prison, some for nothing,for looking or being difficult, some for real things drinking or having drugs, I was sent down the corridor, I was brought back out to the entrance and I was pushed out side alone and told to get in the SUV that was sent for me , I saw a white RAV 4 I opened the door and a indian guy with a beard and a pony tail told me to get in , he was very laid back and and told me I made it ,( I would learn later that everyone in camp is dangerous and that most of the predators are the best actors, I have friends that are actors they are blanks in sense they can be anything with out a trace of tier interiors ,the conmen in side are experts at this,I was very lucky I got some good advise , you come in alone and you go out alone, dont be fooled this is prison. I had a good bunkie he had been in for 9 years and told me to do things that kept me safe. the next time  I will write about my first week in camp